what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
