Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
