I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
