I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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