he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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