i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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