i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
