guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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