matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
