In the future we'll all be gay
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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