The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
