so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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