did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
