Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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