Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize