I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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