He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize