WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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