If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize