Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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