How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
