I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
