I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
