Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
