I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
