i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
