Midget sex pt 2 tonight
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
