can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
