Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dicks are not precious.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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