paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
