If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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