I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
