Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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