Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
