apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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