i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
