we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
