Sponge bath it is.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You are a genius and a whore.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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