One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
