The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
