We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
