Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize