Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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