They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
