Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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