i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
