He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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