No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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