So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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