I think i peed on brittanys purse
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
