I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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