HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
