great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
