yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
