Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
