if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
