I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
