it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
