Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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