she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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