Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
