Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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