she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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