Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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