my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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