Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
