that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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