I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
