Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
