Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
